Weigh-in Day - Week 3

Today has been a really bad day. To start off with, I was DEAD tired when I woke up this morning because I had a long day at my regular job and then had to put in some hours at my second job. I didn't want to get up this morning, but I dragged my butt up anyways. For what?

To see a 1 pound GAIN on the scale this morning.

Yes, I am 209 lbs today. I thought that fluke gain was going to disappear by today, but alas, it is still there. That means I really gained it huh? I just don't know how that's possible. I was on track to lose weight this week by all my calculations. *le sigh* That really did a number on my mood this morning. I didn't feel like going to the gym after that, but I forced myself to go anyways (I was already up right?). When I got to the gym, I just couldn't get into working out, but I thought if I just made myself start I'd get into it once I started going. Well, after a quick warm-up, I proceeded to pull my left groin muslce on the VERY FIRST REP OF MY VERY FIRST EXERCISE. WTF, man. That means I didn't get as hard of a workout in as I would have liked, which put me in MORE of a crappy mood.

It just seems like everyone else around me is doing so well and no matter how hard I try, I can never get a leg up on this weightloss thing. It seems like all the odds are stacked up against me and I'm just setting myself up for failure. I knew this was going to be an uphill battle, but geez, how am I taking 2 steps backwards ALREADY. It's only the third week for cripes sake. Sometimes, it just doesn't seem worth it. Why get up at the ass crack of dawn to force myself to exercise and then deprive myself of yummy foods, when I don't lose weight either way. Why not just eat what you want and not lose weight?

I suck at dieting!

R.I.P.

After 4 years of loyal and dedicated work, I think my iPod is officially DEAD. It just won't hold a charge anymore. I charged it all weekend on our iHome stereo thingy, but it died 15 minutes into my run this morning. Running SUX BALLS when you have no music to motivate you. I don't even know how I made it through the run, but I can tell you right now that I never want to do that again. Looks like I'll have to hijack my hubby's iPod until mine either gets fixed or I decide to get a new one. It last pretty long considering how much I use it and how rough I am with it. It's been with me through a lot and I will sorely miss it. Maybe I should get the iPod Touch, tha would rock my socks off!

So R.I.P. iPod Mini, you will be sorely missed. *sniff sniff*

Trying to stay above water...

For some reason, today was a REALLY hard today. It started off on the wrong foot because I didn't make it to the gym. Man, it seems like I can never get all my shit done over the weekend, so things spill over into Mondays. I didn't get all my laundry done, so I had to scramble for clothes to wear (to the gym and to work) and then I forgot that I totally needed to go into work early today to make up some time since I'm going on vacation next week. I had my gym bag packed and everything, but had to ditch it at the last minute to go to work. =\

That's where it all started, but that's no where near the end. For breakfast, I just couldn't bring myself to have my protein shake and banana. I think not going to the gym just threw me off my routine. I decided to do something quick and tasty and have some of my hubby's cereal. I got to work and logged that breakfast - 615 calories! OMG OMG OMG, granted it was a BIG bowl of cereal, but 615 calories? That's like half my allotment for the day!

I skipped my morning snack to try to make up for that, but started getting SO HELLACIOUSLY hungry by lunchtime that I thought I was going to pass out. Seriously, my body has issues with sugar and carbs I think. How did that HUGE bowl of cereal not tide me over for more than 3 hours? I could have eaten a tiny bowl of oatmeal and had it tide me over longer than that bowl of cereal. That just goes to show you how quickly sugar affects your blood sugar and how little it does for your appetite.

Lunch was on point, but then all afternoon I was just dreaming about food. I was craving all kinds of things that would not normally cross my mind - chips, fast food, candy, cookies, etc. I don't know WHAT got into me (maybe lingering affects from the sugary breakfast cereal?), but I just could not get those cravings out of my head. They were driving me crazy!

I had to work my second job tonight, so I had to eat dinner on the go. I brought a grilled chicken wrap, but planned on forgoing it for a protein shake to try to salvage some calories from my horrendous breakfast that morning. By the time 5 o'clock rolled around, I was STARVING again. I just couldn't imagine that the protein shake would hold me over, so I went for the wrap. Disappointingly, the wrap just did not hit the spot and it just didn't taste all that great to me in general. I should have just had the protein shake dammit! When I eat something that disappoints me, then it's almost as if I haven't eaten anything at all. Like, if I went to Taco Bell and ordered a burrito that tasted like crap to me, I would not be satisfied until I went back and ordered something I knew tasted good, like a Mexican Pizza or something (even though I wasn't even hungry). Yeah, I'm weird like that. SO, after eating that wrap, I was still 'hungry' and wanting to eat something ALL night because my dinner was so disappointing.

When I got home, I just could NOT take it anymore and dove into the baked cheetos. That didn't really hit the spot, so I tried eating some grits (to fill me up on LOW cals). Um yeah, as you probalby could have guessed, that didn't hit the spot either. I finally broke down and had a sugar free pudding to satiate the sweet tooth I had been having all day and that seemed to help. I still feel like I wasn't satisfied in my food today and could stand to eat something yummy before I go to bed, but I think I've done enough damage for today. I logged every morsel into MyFoodDiary and it wasn't pretty at all.

Whatever, the day's over and tomorrow is a new day. I'm more prepared because I know I have to go to work early (hence, I need to go to the gym early) and my food is all planned out and ready to go. That day just started out wrong and went downhill from there. Tomorrow will be a better day.

On that note, why doesn't my motivation last longer? It's only week 3 and my motivation is already lagging. I don't feel as strongly about resisting temptation on the weekend and forcing myself to go to the gym. It seems like I can go hardcore for a few weeks and, even though I'm seeing results, just can't sustain it for the long haul. I hope this stint of determination isn't over yet, though. I'll hop back on the bandwagon and ride this thing out as long as I can.

Wish me luck!

Weigh-in Day - Week 2

(I don't know if I mentioned this, but I lost 1.5 lbs last week.)

This week's weigh-in went really well. I only expected to lose 1 lb this week because my Sunday was so horrible this past weekend, but I actually lost 2 lbs. Woot! That's the first time in a LONG time that I actually lost the projected amount from MyFoodDiary.

Don't have much time to post though because I have to get everything ready for tomorrow. I have to work my second job tomorrow and am planning on going to the gym beforehand (go me!), so I have to get my gym bag and lunch ready.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit right? I guess I have less than 7 days left until this new healthy lifestyle becomes a habit. That rocks my socks!!

G'night all! Have a kick ass weekend!!

What's the Next Challenge?

I totally forgot to report that I totally conquered the revolving step StairMaster last weekend. I went to the gym before my second job on Saturday and was determined to do a crapload of cardio so I would have enough calories to enjoy myself at dinner that night (was going to a new Italian joint with friends - YUM!). The top calorie burners for me are running, elliptical machine and the StairMaster. Much to my surprise (or maybe dismay, LOL), that revolving step StairMaster was open! I quickly hopped on it and started haulin' azz up those fake stairs. It was good times, even though it only lasted 20 minutes (hey, that's the limit on those machines at my gym!). I think next time I'll try to up the level of intensity on it. Yay!

Everything is still on track and going full speed ahead. Tomorrow is weigh-in day for me so I'm both excited and nervous. I know I didn't do that well this past weekend, but hopefully I can still show a decent loss. I've been trying not to have too much sodium today, but I'll try to drink some extra water to be sure. =) Only 14 more lbs before I'm not longer considered 'obese' by BMI standards. I'm trying to be just 'overweight' by Cinco de Mayo.

I'm going to visit a friend of mine who lives in San Jose in about 2 weeks. I'm super excited about it because I've never been there and I've always wanted to go there. We are going to a Cirque Du Soleil show (called Kooza) on Friday night, and awesome steakhouse that serves grass-fed beef and organice veggies (awesome!!) and do all the sight-seeing around San Francisco and the Napa Valley wineries. I need to watch my food intake and make sure I get to the gym. I actually made an effort to make sure my friend's apartment complex had a gym and I'm going to force myself to go. I need to make sure I don't just throw my routine out the window. I want to enjoy myself, but not fly completely off the handle. This is supposed to be a lifestyle change, right? Well, my new lifestyle includes exercising on my vacations, apparently.

I've been struggling with whether or not I should buy new clothes. Most of the stuff I own is size 18 with a couple of 16's thrown in there for good measure. I mean, they still fit without looking completely stupid, but I just don't feel great in them. You know how that is, my self-esteem goes in the dumps if I don't feel like I look good in the clothes I'm wearing. I feel like the clothes are way too big and look goofy on me. That being said, I'm still skeptical about forking out $$ for new clothes because I'm afraid I'm going to lose more weight and have to toss those clothes, too. I've been holding off for like a year on buying new clothes because of this. I keep telling myself that it would be a waste of money to buy new clothes because they'll be too big for me to wear soon. Yeah, my track record? I haven't lost jack shiz in like 1.5 years. LOL. That means I have A LOT of really old, outdated and worn out clothes in my closet that I've been wearing over and over again. I'm SO ready for a new wardrobe! Come on 20 lbs, get the hex out of here so I'm FORCED to buy at least a few new things (because NOTHING in my closet will fit me then).

Onward and DOWNward... ONEderland here I come. =)

The Sweets. They call me...

Today was a tough day for some reason. I've been doing fairly well the last 2 weeks and have been riding on that high for a while. Today, I finally came tumbling down off that high. That's not to say I did poorly with my eating or exercising, I just felt off. The hugeness of the task I'm trying to achieve loomed over my head, the difficulty of getting up early to go to the gym everyday kept creeping into my thoughts and my intermittant failures at resisting temptation kept haunting me. I tried to put those thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on how good I've been doing, but geez I have to lose 65 lbs to get to the TOP of my 'healthy weight range'. 65 lbs!! If I lose 1 lb a week, that will take me well over a YEAR to lose. Eating healthily 24/7 for a year straight? *sigh* Life just ISN'T fair sometimes.

Damn you skinny bitches that can eat whatever you want and never gain a pound! *shaking fists at the sky*

I seriously need to make some more goals for this week. I seem to get easily sidetracked if I don't keep track of goals and my progress toward those goals. And my goals are acheiveable because I'm moving in baby steps. The first week it was mostly about getting my food under control and getting back into the gym consistently. This week, it has been more about getting to the gym as often as possible and getting some decent workouts in. Next week, I'm not sure... how about I start making it a goal that I actually get to the gym on TIME so I can get a decent workout in (lengthwise I mean). I also need to concentrate on making them really good workouts. Yes, this is a good idea. More goals please!

(1) Keep eating in check during the weekend by LOGGING everything in real time (or beforehand).
(2) Try to drink 100 oz of water per day
(3) Get to the gym 5 - 6 times this week, mixing up cardio and weight lifting
(4) Lay off the diet sodas


I think that's enough for this week, especially since today is already Wednesday. LOL!

Next week I seriously need to get my butt out of bed in time and put some QUALITY workouts in. I've been getting to the gym and kind of half-assing it since my only goal was to make it to the gym (I hadn't thought much farther than that). I need to make sure I break a good sweat and really workout those muscles when I'm lifting. I should feel sore the day after lifting! I'll need to research more workout routines so I can keep my muscles guessing and so I don't get bored.

Why does time pass by SO SLOWLY when you are trying to lose weight? When I'm eating like shit and not exercising, time flies by and, before you know it, I've gained several pounds. When I'm busting my ass exercising and eating right 7 days a week, the time just creeps by. I know it's because I'm anticipating the weigh-ins because I'm expecting losses, but GEEZ, let's get a move-on Father Time! I'm cool with only losing 1-2 lbs a week, just let those weeks progress a little quicker! =P

The anti-dieter (dear hubby) has donut holes and Otis Spunkmeyer blueberry muffins in the house. Everytime I go into the kitchen, I hear them calling out to me like sirens. Must.... resist....

Goals for week

Today is a New Day

My willpower is not stronger than my desire to eat. I know that now.

Friday I was right on target. I worked out (crazy intense lower body lift), went to work, made homemade Salisbury Steak for my hubby for dinner and just watched a movie. Perfect day, by health standards anyway. Saturday, I went to the gym (50 min cardio workout!), went to my second job and then went to dinner with friends. We went to an italian joint called Rigatony's and I planned on getting a South Beach Diet inspired meal called 'Chicken and Shrimp Primavera', which was made with whole wheat spaghetti. All good right? When my hubby ordered fried calamari, I didn't have a bite. Yay me! Then, the salad and bread came out. I thought to myself, "One or two bites won't hurt." I ended up having a big ol' plate of salad (salami, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pepperonici, olives, cheese, dressing, etc) and a huge slice of bread. It was so good, I couldn't stop myself. =\ Technically, after I logged my guestimates in MyFoodDiary, I was still in the weightloss zone, but excruciatingly close to being over my weight loss calories. Overall, still a decent day.

Then came Sunday.

For some reason, I was seriously craving sweets, but couldn't eat any because I have given them up for Lent. Instead of just giving in (when technically it's ok to give in to the things you've given up for Lent on the Sundays between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday - wikipedia it, it's true!), I just ate everything else that wasn't sweets. Leftovers from the italian dinner the night before, baked Cheetos, Taco Bell (2 fresco style chicken soft tacos, 1 crunchy taco and half of my hubby's Mexican pizza!), strawberries, yogurt, a sugar free popsicle, stuffed mushrooms, thin crust pizza for dinner and a big bowl of cereal before bed. Technically, I didn't break my vow for Lent, but instead I ended up eating enough food to push me 1,000 calories over my maintainence cals. That translates to gaining 1.9 lbs if I ate like that for 1 week. =\ *sigh* I probably could have saved myself a lot of calories if I had just eaten 1 of my hubby's donut holes or one of his Otis Spunkmeyer Blueberry Muffins (see?? I told you I live with the anti-dieter!!). Oh well, lesson learned. I REALLY have to make sure and have a plan for what I'm going to eat next Sunday. Obviously, playing it by ear does NOT work. I guess it didn't help that I wasn't logging my food in real time, this morning I logged everything I could think of from yesterday and saw the damage. That seriously depressed me because I am so disappointed in my behavior from yesterday. I guess all I can do is deal with it, make a plan for next time and move on.

It just sucks because I was doing so well and then took a flying leap off the bandwagon yesterday for NO REASON. Thinking back on it, I'm sure it was because of lack of planning. I just cannot 'wing it' and stay on plan. I will plan my meals out for Sat AND SUNDAY for this week and see how it goes. What's the saying? Failing to plan is planning to fail.

On top of all that mess from yesterday, I didn't make it to the gym this morning. *tsk tsk* Shame on me! I WILL get back into it tomorrow. My eating WILL be on point today to help make up for the damage from yesterday. I WON'T let this derail me or throw me into a weird downward spiral of depression. It was just one day, get on with your life! Breath.

I ate so horrendously yesterday that I woke up with HEARTBURN this morning. Geez....

Happy Valentine's Day! <3

I love holidays and I'm feeling very festive in my spicy red shirt and black heels today. I'm mostly just dressed up for lunch with my hubby today at P.F. Chang's. Don't worry, I'm going to get brown rice, cantonese shrimp and maybe the steam shrimp wonton appetizer - a measely 650 calories total. That's nothing considering I burned about 500 off at the gym this morning. =)

Oh, speaking of the gym, I conquered the StairMaster today! *ROAR* I think the first time I just psyched myself out because I knew the StairMaster was hard. I've always been intimidated by it because I only ever saw skinny people on it. I thought that it must just be too insanely hard for a fat person to do. Anyways, my first attempt was on Tuesday and I made it through 10 minutes before I sulked away to the elliptical trainer. I decided to give it another shot today, just to try to make it to 15 minutes. Well, I made it to 15 minutes, then to 20 and then all the way to 30 minutes. That's as long as I had planned on exercising today, so ROCK ON! It wasn't even THAT hard - I think it was more of a mental thing than a physical inability to handle that machine. There are two different kinds of StairMasters though - 1 that has revolving stairs and 1 that has 2 pedals that you step up and down on. I have only gotten to do the one with the pedals because the one with the revolving stairs is ALWAYS taken up by the skinny b*tches. LOL! The next time I see one of those open on my cardio day, I'm so on it! I'll let you know how that goes…

Man, I am feeling GOOD about my weightloss journey these days. I have newfound strength to resist the yummy Valentine's day cookies and sweets that are just a few feet away from my desk right now. I have the determination to get up and take my butt to the gym daily. I have the desire to eat only what I pre-planned and pre-packed for myself (that's within my calories). I finally feel like I can really do this. The weight seems to be coming off slowly, but I'm only aiming to lose about 20 lbs this year. If I can stick with this and lose more, I'll be happy as a pig in mud.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I was only going to weigh myself once a month, but now that I have my groove back I think it's safe to weigh once a week. Weighing once a week was really getting to me because I would do HORRIBLY on the weekend and then try really hard during the week and expect a loss on Friday. When I didn't see that loss, it sent me to a crazy place and sabotaged all my efforts. Now that I'm doing everything I need to do (even keeping my weekends in check), I think the Friday weigh-ins will be more empowering than depressing. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow! =)

As far as Valentine's Day goes, I don't have any huge plans. Hubby and I are doing lunch today, where I will give him a card filled with my gushings about it, but then we both have to work until 9pm. We might do dinner this weekend at a nicer restaurant, but I think I want to keep it low-key. I know there's going to be a bazillion people out this weekend on their V Day dates and I just don't want to deal with that. We have a group outing with friends on Saturday, so that is all that 'dealing with people' I can handle for this weekend. Hopefully my hubby doesn't give me candy because I can't eat any of those (I've given up sweets for Lent). I'm hoping for a new purse for summer!

Have a Lovely Valentine's Day!

A Day in My Life

I'm going to post my daily schedule and maybe what a typical day looks like for me, so I can look back on this and remember what worked for me (if I ever need to). So far this schedule works well for working 2 jobs. I usually pre-cook all my meals (that need to be cooked) on Sunday before the week starts.

6:15am - Wake up and get ready for the gym
7am - Arrive at the gym, workout for about 30 ~ 45 mins (depending on cardio or lifting)
8am - Shower and get ready for work
8:30am - Drink a protein shake while getting ready for work
9am - Eat a banana on the way to work
10:30am - Mid-morning snack (usually a 2% milk cheese stick and an apple)
Noon - Lunch (this week is Eating for Life's Tuna Rotini and a piece of fruit)
2:30pm - Mid-afternoon snack (this week Reduced fat Triscuits, Reduced fat Swiss and Slices of Oven Roasted Chicken Breast)

5pm - Dinner (this week is Turkey Sandwich on 100% Whole Wheat Bread, baby carrots and grapes)
8pm - Protein Shake
10pm - Go to bed after packing my lunch and gym bag for the next day

For nearly the last 2 weeks, this schedule has been working out really well for me. I'm not hungry, I get enough sleep and things seem to transition well. It took me a decent amount of time to figure this schedule out though. For the first week or two of working the 2 jobs, I was DEAD TIRED and would be super hungry when I got home from work. I've rearranged things and now I'm feeling good. =)

I hope I can keep this momentum going for a long time!

Testing, Testing 1-2-3

(I'm testing the feature that updates my blog via email, so bare with me if it turns out badly. I will fix it once I get a chance to log in from home.)

After several false starts to my weight loss endeavor this year, things finally seem to be on track. I've been eating really well for the last 9 days (give or take a few mistakes here and there) and I've been regularly exercising for the past 2 weeks. It's been good times so far and I'm welcoming the constant throb of endorphins throughout my body. I feel better and am in a much better place now that I'm eating right and exercising. You'd think this knowledge alone would help keep me on track, but no. I seem to have a really selective memory when it comes to things like that. I mean, I KNOW that my skin is clearer, I have more energy, I'm regular (lol, TMI?), I'm in a better mood, I feel better about myself, etc when I'm eating right and exercising. Conversely, I also KNOW that I break out like a pre-teen, am sluggish like no other, have irregular bowl movements (come on, you like knowing about my poop!), feel really gross and disgusting about myself and just am in an all around foul mood when I don't eat right and exercise. Despite all that knowledge, I still proceed to subject myself to prolonged bouts of crappy eating and lack of exercise more often than I'd like to admit. It just baffles me, yet I do it to myself over and over again. Ugly cycle, it is. It's been happening a lot over the last 1.5 years since I've had any significant weightloss. I truly believed that I was trying really hard to lose weight and then not seeing results, but now that I honestly look back at my efforts, I'm fairly sure I was sabotaging the weekday progress with horrendous eating on the weekend. I convinced myself that my eating on the weekend wasn't THAT bad and that something must be WRONG with me since I wasn't losing weight. Last weekend, I had one of those 'this-isn't-THAT-bad-for-me' meals and when I logged it in MyFoodDiary, it was over 2,000 calories. Come on guys, that's a meal that I didn't think was THAT BAD for me. Imagine what the calories in a meal I would consider 'really crappy eating' looked like! Denial is such an ugly beast.

So yeah, I'm eyes wide open now. I'm logging all my food, ESPECIALLY on the weekends. Those are my downfall, so it would only be fitting to be EXTRA careful during that time. I'm also trying to do my best to fit in some sort of exercise on 1 of the days during my weekend. So far that's been on Saturdays and hasn't been too bad because I just stop by the gym on my way to work (just like I do on the weekdays). Sunday has been my rest day as far as exercise goes and I usually also eat my 'cheat' meal on Sunday. Yes, I've decided that a 'cheat' meal is necessary for my sanity. The Body for Life program (which is the program I'm vaguely following at this point) emphasizes a 'cheat day' for sanity and metabolic shock, but I find that those 'cheat days' can really do some damage and unravel all my hard work for the week, so I am containing it to just 1 'cheat' meal. In that meal, I will eat whatever I want, within reason. The content can be anything, but I must really try not go to overboard with the portion sizes. Last weekend, the portion size was what turned that 'cheat' meal into a 2,000+ meal. Must work on that this weekend. Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.

I really like the Body for Life meal plans because they emphasize whole foods mostly. Typically, the meals are made from scratch from naturally occuring items and there's not much processed junk in the recommended foods list. I've been trying to incorporate more of a 'clean eating' type of lifestyle into my life because I found that I was eating a lot of junk that had ingredients that I had never heard of in my life. That just can't be good. If we look back in time to the days when our ancestors weren't horrendously overrun with obesity and diseases caused by obesity, what was everyone eating? Whole foods that could be grown from the earth or animals that were raised in their natural environment. Ideally, we should all grown our own food and raise our own livestock, but that's just crazy talk in this day and age. I'll settle for eating fresh salads and home-cooked meals instead of frozen foods and boxed dinners. (Note: I have been drinking protein shakes though, which are processed I suppose, but I have to get more protein in somehow! I'm a hypocrit, I know. Sorry to disappoint.)

As far as exercise goes, I've been *trying* to do at least 30 minutes of cardio, 3 times a week and then lift weights 3 times per week. I try to make each cardio session a different exercise (elliptical one day, running one day and an aerobics class the last day) just to keep my body guessing and keep my mind interested. Must change things up often or else I get insanely bored with my cardio routine. This past fall I had a lot of fun running outside for my half-marathon training, but I'm over that now. I'm inside on the machines now and have just REALLY discovered the StairMaster machine. I mean, I always knew it was there, but just never paid much attention to it. This week I decided to try it since I had never attempted it before.

I only lasted 10 minutes before I had to concede defeat. =\

That's fine, at least I tried. My calves are KILLING me today because of it, but I welcome the challenge. I am going to attempt it again tomorrow morning and see if I can make it for 15 minutes, if not longer. Seems like a good machine to give me a J.Lo booty, which we all know every woman wants. LOL!

As far as weight lifting goes, I've been alternating between full body circuit training and old-fashioned weight lifting by muscle group. Last week was 2 different full body circuit training session and this week I'm lifting upper-body today and lower-body/abs on Friday. I also like to keep things interesting in that aspect because, yeah, I have a short attention span unless it's something I LOVE. And, no, I do not LOVE exercising. I have a love-hate relationship with exercise. I love how it makes me feel and how it changes my body, but I HATE the actual act of doing it. It is tiring and… hard. LOL. Keep it interesting, ya'll!

I'm so glad I finally feel like I have my groove back. I feel like I did back in 2006 when I lost the last 20 lbs of my 50 lb weightloss so far. Hopefully I can dispose of another 20 lbs before my sister's wedding in June. That is my goal - anything more than that is a blessing.

Keep on truckin' folks!

Keep on Keepin' On

My third 'perfect' day in a row. I'm totally on a roll right now, which is crazy because it's the WEEKEND. My weekends are usually horrible as far as eating goes, but I pleasantly surprised myself. I had to work at my second job today, so I packed my gym bag and lunch and made sure I had a plan for the day. I made it to the gym at about 1pm (OMG, so busy!!) and did my full body circuit routine. I made a mistake of eating lunch BEFORE I went to the gym and I felt like I was going to throw up for about hour after I finished working out. Eww! (Mental note: Do NOT eat before workouts.) Then, I had my healthy snacks and lunch to eat during my second job and everything went smoothly. Here I am, right at my calorie goal for the day and feeling good as hell. I think I'm totally high on endorphins. =)

I'm also happy to report that, as long as I do my Pilates DVD tomorrow, I'm totally on track to knock all my goals out this week. Yay! I'll have to make harder goals for myself next week. This week has been good. I still have issues I need to work on (I munch on a veggie tray today even though I wasn't hungry! Didn't do much calorie damage, but still, I WASN'T HUNGRY!), but overall I'm happy with my progress thus far. Also, I'm getting much stronger and am able to lift much heavier weights at the gym. Hellz yeah!

As for my giving up sweets for Lent, right on target baby! That one has been a little hard though, but it's supposed to be isn't it? Gotta stay focused on the goal!

I'm feeling really good about this week and am tempted to weigh myself, but I promised I'd wait until March 1st. I better not, just in case it sends me into some crazy downward spiral if I don't see the loss I want to see. I finally feel like I'm back in that weightloss groove, which is good because I'm going to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding this year and I don't want to look like a fat lump of lard in the cute dress we are going to be wearing! LOL!

I've already planned out all my meals for next week and have made up my grocery list. I'm just waiting on my husbands input so I can take care of all that tomorrow morning. Then, it's cooking all my meals for the week tomorrow evening so I'll be set. No excuses! Doing laundry right now so I'll have plenty of gym clothes for the week also. Yay for planning ahead!

I'm so perky that I'm annoying myself. It's those endorphins, they are pulsating all through my body. I can do this, 2008 is my year!

Ok, off to bed folks!

Yay!

My first 'perfect' day, meaning I exercised hard (full body circuit this morning) and ate exactly what I had planned for myself. No snacking, no over-eating, no slacking on exercise. I was at my calorie limit for the day and already feel sore from my workout this morning. Rock on! I can already feel the endorphins pulsating through my body. Go me!

I finally feel like I have the groove back. I have control over my eating and have gotten back into the routine of working out before work. Granted, it's only been a good DAY and not a good WEEK yet, let alone a good MONTH, but it's definitely a good start. I feel good about it and think I can maintain this focus through the weekend. That's the hardest part for me, the weekend. If I can keep my momentum through the weekend, then next week will be a breeze. =) (Do you think I could use 'good' any more often in that paragraph? LOL)

I'm not that religious nor do I go to church very much, but I've decided to do something for Lent. A co-worker of mine asked me what I was giving up and caught me off guard. I hadn't actually thought about it until just then and decided I was going to give up 'processed sugars that are bad for me'. LOL! Mostly, I need to stay away from sweets because they are triggers for me and can send me into an ugly downward spiral. I worded it in that fashion though because I don't plan on giving up all SUGAR, per se. I'm still going to eat fruit, bread and all those other healthy things that have sugar in them. Just the bad sugars, stay away!

I have to admit that I already failed though. =( I decided yesterday to give up sweets and then when I went to my second job, I totally chowed down on 3 of those peachy candy thingies that are covered in sugar. It was an accident though, they were there and I mindlessly picked them up and ate 3 of them. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't craving them, I didn't even like them all that much - I just ate them because they were THERE. I didn't even REALIZE what I had done until I was driving home after work! No wonder I got so fat. I just mindlessly eat anything lying around! Anyways, I figured since I didn't do it consciously that I can start over. =D

I've decided to give myself small goals each week to focus on and gauge my progess. This week it's...
(1) Get to the gym at least 4 times (been twice already)
(2) Do my Pilates DVD at home on Sunday
(3) Drink AT LEAST 60 oz of water a day, trying to work up to 100 oz
(4) Keep my calories in the 'Weight Loss Zone', meaning eat so that I would actually lose weight and not gain. =\
(5) Try to curb evening snacking by being prepared.

So far, so good on those goals. Next week I'll try to set more ambitious goals, until I reach PERFECTION! LOL, yeah right! I would like to make each day better than the last though.

Ok, off to La La Land so I can get up in the morning and take my happy butt to the gym again! Woohoo! Cardio Day!

Do Over!

Man, I've been swamped with working two jobs the last week. I've really been meaning to write more often and I have a lot to say, but I just haven't been able to put the time in to write quality posts. I have the capability to update via email, but I'm such a perfectionist that I hate the way the font doesn't match the other entries. I know at some point I could just log on and fix the font, but it would just bug the crap out of me that it was messed up until I fixed it. I don't need that kind of anxiety in my life. =\

On another note, I took a little time to prepare a meal plan and go grocery shopping this weekend, so that's finally under control. I've decided to follow the Body for Life program for the next 12 weeks or so. I've always agreed with Bill Phillips' ideas and always seem to migrate back to his regimen when I'm not experimenting with other diets. His plan is what I would call my 'go to' usual. If I'm not trying Fat Smash or South Beach or whatever else book I've just finished, then it's back to the good old trusty Body for Life. A good friend of mine turned me on to it a long time ago and it's just always stuck. I just need to read up a little on the workout plan so I know what I'm doing tomorrow morning at the gym. That's right, I'm FINALLY going back to the gym tomorrow. It seems like I haven't been there in FOREVER! I can tell too because I feel so gross and disgusting right now. The last few days I've eaten like crap and haven't exercise (in I can't remember how long?). I always get this way when I treat my body like crap... I just feel like a piece of crap. You'd think after experiencing this over and over again, that I would just learn NOT to treat my body like crap. But no, I guess old habits die hard, REALLY HARD.

That being said, I have my lunch packed (breakfast, snacks, lunch AND dinner because I'm working the two jobs tomorrow), my gym bag packed and I'm all ready to go. I feel good about this week and am just going to try my best to follow the Body for Life program as well as I can for a month and then reassess where I am at. I think I just give up too soon on diets and just need to stick it out for longer than a few weeks. I'm going to give it a whole month before I even weigh myself for a second time. I can do this!

My neighbor is trying the Smart for Life diet and I'm curious to see how that works out for her. We have essentially the same amount of weight to lose and if she's successful on it, I might give it a go. I don't exactly fully believe in the process there, but a part of me just wants the weight off. I've been trying to lose this last 50+ lbs for like 1.5 years and it seems like I"m just not getting anywhere. Good thing is that I've been able to maintain a 50+ lb weightloss for that 1.5 years. A part of me wants to just hurry up and get to my goal weight by any means possible because I know I can maintain it. Take the easy way out and just GET to my goal weight by less than ideal means or suffer for who knows how much longer and possibly never get to my goal weight because I was too snotty to give it a try? I don't know. We'll see how I feel after this first month of Body for Life.

I took the day off of work today to just veg out. I've been going non-stop with these two jobs and weekend events and just needed a day to relax and recharge my batteries. I think it did the trick (even though I really feel like I could take the whole week off) and am ready to get back to the daily grind. I seriously need to just take it easy this upcoming weekend. I need to not over-work myself and burn out during these peak time of tax season.

My middle sister (I'm the baby) is getting married on June 21st of this year. I'm going to be one of her bridesmaids. Is it super vain that I just want to look CUTE in the bridesmaid dress instead of a STUFFED SAUSAGE??? I've got less than 5 months. I can do this! I don't want to be dieting and complaning about my weight when I'm like 40! Can I just get this over with already?!

That is all.