Small Changes

So, as I've reiterated here a million times I'm sure, I was doing REALLY well with the dieting and exercise for the past 10 weeks or so. I wasn't seeing any loss, but I noticed that I've more or less changed my eating habits entirely. I no longer get as much enjoyment out of junk food as I used to. I had a burger Saturday night and was thoroughly disgusted with how greasy it was. OMG, dripping!! Also, I had pizza on Sunday night and decided after a few pieces that I would rather have eaten my homemade spaghetti and turkey meatballs. And, I didn't even have the smallest inclination to eat any of the wings my hubby got with the pizza (too much fatty skin - EW). It's the weirdest thing, but also a blessing. It seems like these days I would almost rather have something healthy, unless it's an old school favorite. I don't eat everything in sight just for the sake of eating it. I can pass up things that I just don't think taste all that great. I haven't really had any sweets since I gave them up for Lent. I feel like a changed woman!

That being said, I've been eating like utter SHITE for about the last week. It's purely an act of rebellion since I didn't lose weight doing things almost perfectly for so long, plus I'm starting that weight management program soon, so I thought I'd get in all my old favorites before I go back onto a strict regimen. I think I'm starting the program on Monday (pending the doc's approval), so that means I have only the day of Easter to shove as many sweets into my mouth as I can before I start the new program. That means I have to eat a Reese's peanut butter egg (only here for Easter!), ice cream, cookies (chocolate chip and oreo's are a must!) and maybe some sort of pastry or cake. LOL, I'm going to be in a sugar coma Sunday. I know this is not what a healthy person would do. I should just continue to not eat sweets and stick with the healthy eating, etc, but dammit - I have issues. Food issues, I know this. I wouldn't be where I was weight/health-wise if I didn't have food issues. I've gotten better, but I'll be the first to tell everyone that I am NOT PERFECT. Baby steps, ya'll.

It was kind of liberating finding that I just don't get the same 'high' from eating burgers, pizza, fried chicken, fries, etc, that I used to. Seriously, at one point I asked myself, 'Why did I like this so much?? It's not even THAT GOOD!' I mean, don't get me wrong, I still have my old favorites - white rice and pasta!! - but I think I've lost my taste for some of the other things. Yay me! I think starting this new program will just reinforce that fact and help me build up even better habits as far as eating smaller meals, getting in all my water and only eating when I'm hungry. I need to learn to listen to my body more. That's one thing I haven't been doing. Everyone says to eat every few hours, even if you aren't hungry, so that's what I've been doing. Maybe that wasn't the greatest idea...

So I feel UBER fat and bloated right now from all the CRAP I've been eating for the past week or so. I know I couldn't have gained more than a few lbs (at max), but I feel like I'm huge as a house. I should have my own zip code.

Can't wait to talk to doc tomorrow about my blood work and EKG, so I can get started on this new endeavor. It's going to be hard, but I can do it. I'm SERIOUSLY determined to get this damn weight off!!!